


sins // salvation

by ineffablytimeless



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, The Master (Doctor Who) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23742115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablytimeless/pseuds/ineffablytimeless
Summary: "you possess some arcane divinity that has made me fall in love with you thousands of times and i don't think i could ever stop."the master thinks himself broken.the doctor disagrees.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & The Master (Dhawan), Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	sins // salvation

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic on ao3... the master after gallifrey.

he is standing there, in the remains of civilizations lost, with dead eyes and clenched fists. it means nothing anymore, he's too broken for the universe to care. but the universe is broken as well, and neither of them deserve to be fixed. the chaos was supposed to protect him, but now it's nothing more than a worthless angry outcry. and it hurts, more than he wants to admit, even to himself.

 _all this death... finally made you happy?_ ecstatic! _and has it calmed all the rage?_

how that hurt. the disgust on her face that caused him to break for a second, filled with regret and pain and that constant feeling of _longing_ that resurfaced every time he saw them, the doctor in all their glory and happiness and hope.

he turns his gaze downward. he's still wearing the worn shoes and purple socks he was wearing on gallifrey, the orange dust is still on the shoe soles. the purple coat is torn at the corner and several buttons are missing. he lets out a harsh, delirious laugh. his tissue eliminator compressor is still in his pocket, he's even still in the same waistcoat and trousers, the orange and navy ones.

he continues laughing. but the empty sound soon evolves into something deeper and more genuine. the pain of every stupid mistake is catching up with him, and he can't stop it. his laughter is halted and his vision is blurring with tears. _i can't do this anymore._ he's crying now, his sobs still mixed with broken cackles that mean nothing and show everything. he doesn't feel anything when he falls to the ground.

and he stays there. on his knees as if he's praying to a malevolent god. _maybe,_ he bargains with the universe, _one last chance._ he then bows his head and leans backwards onto his heels. he chuckles through the tears one more time, _please._

and that's how they find him. the doctor and her multitudes of companions. she's been looking for him and he hates her for it. he betrayed her and hurt her one thousand thousand times over and never did he stop loving the doctor because he's foolish and weak. he betrayed her and hurt her one thousand thousand times over and now she's back for him.

he doesn't have to look up to know it's her, and still doesn't do so when she touches his shoulder. she slips her hands around his waist and gently pulls him up. the slight touch makes him shiver but he doesn't pull away, instead, he leans into her and gives up, turning around and burying his head on her shoulder.

 _it's okay._ she pushes into his mind. he doesn't acknowledge it, nor does he reply. he simply leans into her and she holds him. slowly, she leads him into the tardis, still supporting him. the girl she travels with - yaz - stares at him solemnly. memories of flirting and possible friendship burn in his head, but all he wants to think about now is _her._

"shhh." she whispers in his ear, rocking gently. she sits him down against one of the crystals, brushing matted hair from his face. he wants to summon a smile, maybe a light insult, but all he can do is try blink tears away. the doctor moves away to her friends, he can hear them speaking in hushed tones. he doesn't try to listen - he doesn't care. whatever objections the humans undoubtedly have mean nothing to him.

instead, he leans his head back and closes his eyes, the thrum of the tardis hypnotic. he doesn't know what he did, when the universe decided to grant his plea but he whispers one more thing internally before slipping into unconsciousness, _thank you._

waking up is difficult. forcing your consciousness out from among the tombstones, away from the peace and quiet of sleep. and as he drags himself out of the safe place that is a closed-off part of his mind, it feels no different to climbing a mountain to the summit, only to find that it would've been better to stay at the bottom. he can hear the doctor speaking, and as he wakes up he can hear what she's saying.

"-don't know what you were thinking, destroying that planet so recklessly! a little more exposure and it would've been regeneration!" he chuckled at her face, so petulant and earnest in every word. she is standing by the console, only a few feet away from him. he attempts to stand up, nearly falling backwards. she eyes him carefully but makes no moves into a defensive or offensive position.

he stumbles forward but regains his composure before looking her in the eyes. she is so beautiful. slowly, carefully, she raises her hand to touch his cheek, and he doesn't flinch. she only grazes her knuckles across his cheekbone before dropping her hand, but her touch is like electricity.

"you possess some arcane divinity that has made me fall in love with you thousands of times and i don't think i could ever stop." he needs to speak the words aloud, press his forehead to hers so the vibrations run through both of them.

and then she kisses him, and it's everything he knew he needed but never had the ability to try make happen. _contact, contact._ they don't say anything, just press themselves into each other, becoming one. her mind is blue sea and gold leaf and breathtaking, unadulterated hope. he can feel her lips on his and never wants to come up for air.

he doesn't speak to the universe. the universe does not compare when she is here.

_you think so little of yourself koschei. you think yourself broken._ she's telling him something now, and he can't stop hearing it. _but there's something i want to say to you, and i want you to know it's true._ she pulls away, and once again brushes his hair out of his eyes. everything around them seems frozen. and they are the only two people left moving.

"i forgive you" and he doesn't ignore her, or lash out angrily. he smiles, and tears form in his eyes once again. and for one sparkling moment, in a dark cold universe with no gods, he is here with her, and everything is so very _right,_

**Author's Note:**

> kudos, cookies and comments feed my lonely soul.


End file.
